I am officially a HOMEOWNER in Wisconsin!
The journey up to this point has been a process of growth and sanctification, faith, and realization. As vulnerable as some of it is, I want to share my testimony for the hearts I know it will speak to:
When I moved back from Florida 2 years ago, I was happy and relieved to be closer to my family and to have more stability. But I realized, the entire time, that I was seeing it as a temporary residence - I wanted to get away again. I was planning on escaping as soon as I could. What I loved so much about living far away was how it challenged me and how I was truly my own person, free from the past and everyone that knew me from childhood. I was the new girl in a big city and I was mysterious for the first time.
After lots of reflection, I realized what I had been running from ever since I moved back: I did not want to be known or viewed as the person I was. I was believing that if I stayed in Wisconsin and planted some roots, I would not be able to grow my business or pursue my dreams. It would mean surrendering my “freedom.” If I stayed in Wisconsin I would be viewed as an insignificant and weak midwestern girl who resorted back to her hometown. If I stayed here in this place, my husband would never find me. If I am not striving for the next big adventure, what am I even doing? I’ll be irrelevant… These were all beliefs running through my subconscious for the past 2.5 years that were revealed to me by the Holy Spirit. The truth is that they are all lies that I didn’t even know I was believing.
Several months ago, I prayed that the Lord would take my will and replace it with His: “Change my heart about staying in Wisconsin because I don’t want to. Close every door you do not want me to walk through and open your door wide enough that I can’t question.” He did. I received an amazing job offer 5 days after I made the faith-filled leap to step away from my previous position in August without having anything lined up. Doors swung open this summer and fall at my church, through the podcast I am part of, from my community at the gym, and within the relationships I hold so dear here. Every door I tried to open to move away again (seriously and literally hundreds) shut.
“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened…. “Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!”
Matthew 7: 7-12
With all of that being said, I knew without any doubt that this is where I need to be now. Maybe not forever but NOW. Glory to God for He is within every detail. I was able to fully immerse myself in the home-buying process the past few months. I got real about what I wanted and why. I processed through the lies and limiting beliefs I was holding onto. I examined my finances and the way I had been saving the last 2.5 years to determine what I could actually afford. I researched and learned from wise individuals about what this investment would entail. What a fabulous way to ring in my 27th. Thank you all in advance for your prayers and excitement for me in this new adventure. I invite you to pray for continued direction as I move into a new season with big goals and dreams for this haven of prayer, ministry, humility, and hospitality.